How To Stop Saying Sorry
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Have you ever found yourself in a sticky situation? Whether you’re in a discussion, misunderstanding or argument? In many of those moments, it’s likely you may end up saying you’re ‘sorry’. Today, I wanted to talk about how often we say sorry to others and question… should we always be the one apologizing?
Sometimes we have to react - and there’s nothing wrong with that. But we definitely have a problem when we begin to instantly say sorry without thinking about why, what and how we say it.
We have so many relationships, conversations, and situations every day. It’s impossible to stay present at all times. Sometimes we’re not even zoned in enough to realize the situations we’re in. Most of the time, we spend conversations half-listening and half-analyzing our own responses.
What did you say sorry for this week?
Did you mean it?
Think about a time when you had to say sorry.
99% of the time, we just say ‘I'm sorry’ to make peace, or to manage the response of others. “Sorry” feels like an easy way out.
Next time we’re faced with this kind of situation…
Stop and evaluate if you really are sorry. Think before you apologize.
And if you are sorry, what are you sorry for? Check in with yourself.
When we say sorry, we are genuinely taking accountability for something that we *should* feel apologetic for. Sticking a band-aid on the problem doesn’t resolve anything.
Instead, we should offer different solutions.
Think up a well thought-out plan to resolve the situation
Come up with an alternative response and learn more about why someone is reacting in that way.
Offer a recommendation. Example: thank you! I understand your point. Please read this book so you can see my side of things.
Lastly, consider that silence sometimes can be the answer (not always though). Often, we need quiet to gain some perspective.
Hope this is helpful and teaches you that instead of getting caught up in the “I’m sorry” aspect, help others feel heard, without apologizing at the first hurdle.
Don’t accept accountability and responsibility for stuff that you don’t believe in. Give it a try to not say “sorry” this week and see how it goes.
Feel free to comment or connect with me to let me know how it goes.
Jackie
xxx
